How far does true friendship go?

[brattyyetbright]

Ok....Last night I babysat for two of my friends that I  have known for years. Both know I am gay. The husband has made advantages at me before recently and I kept hanging around them even though I told him it was never going to happen and he needed to stop. Nothing had happen with him for a while so I thought things were cool. Anyway.. I ended up falling asleep before they got back here and somethings made me wake up to find him in my bed this morning around 2:30 and I was Like what the f***. I turned over scared out of my mind. He laid there for about a min until I was like where are the kids (which were in the bed with me berfore I went to sleep)He had put them on the floor. He got the hint that nothing was going to happen so he left my room. I called MY GIRLFRIEND Right away and told her and she stayed on the phone with me until I went back to sleep. This morning he acted as if he hadnt done anything  I want to call M. (his wife) and tell her why I wont be answering any of her calls anymore or hanging out should I?

[brattyyetbright]

Where do I start  She called me back and I told her that I couldnt have them over anymore and that it had nothing to do with her or the kids because I loved them both So she said ok and the call dropped then her husband text me wondering why they couldnt come by anymore..was it because they didnt pick up behind themselves or what.
 I called M. phone back and he answered saying M. didnt want to talk because she was driving so me thinking I was on speaker went into why...
 He then made it appearent that I wasnt on speaker phone and only talking to him.
 I asked him did she know he climbed into my bed last night and he said no and I stated well that's  why. You can choose to tell her the truth but I doubt you will but that's  the reason. He was like ok and I hung up pissed off because I was afraid that would happen. So I sat here about to start bawling when M. called me back and explained why she wasnt on the phone. Iasked her if he told her why and she stated that I said it was because he reminded me of someone and it made me uncomfortable. wow... anyway I told her it was nothing of the sort and that the real reason was because he couldnt get in his head that I didnt want to sleep with him. I also told her the only reason I was telling her was because I loved her and in no way was trying to hurt her.  She told me that she believed it and I wasnt the only one that had come to her recently about P.  She also wondered why people choose to tell her later(thanks oni you told me that would happen). She says she doesnt blame me in any way and that she will have to rethink her situtions. But that she wasnt willing to lose another friend over him.

[Oni]

Edited for Post on the Forum.
Below you will find what I had to say concerning this matter. Some of you it may make sense to. I don’t expect it all to make sense as I was at work while working on it. LOL. Hope it helps
I was asked to post what I had to say, because I guess it helped. … hehe who knew cat logic could help people



Meow,
Thinking. Well really if I were you I would let your girlfriend level his ass...or I will...your choice really. But I don't see you as letting that out come happen. It appears to me as though he was hoping something would happen. And with that in mind makes me wonder how faithful he is to his wife. That being said I don't think it would matter if you loose his friendship. Women are weird creaturs. Ones I don't really care to understand anymore. But if there marrage is a good one (I am questioning that right now) then what she don't know wont hurt her, and you could simple tell her that you are not comfortable and need some space, make up some weird women excuse. Though that don't work either because she may find out one day and ask why you didn't tell her. You could give him an altimatem. If he trys anything again you will tell his wife. Honesty is the best policy. You cant save everyone's feelings in this matter, and hun I am afraid people are going to get hurt one way or the other.
The outcome some times out ways the present.
You could be a sneaky women and get him to admit it infront of his wife. That way you don't have to say anything at all. LOL.
If it was with strangers. Like if you knew this was going on with other people and you were not involved I would say leave it be.
But because this effects you. I would simple remove yourself from the situation by how ever you need to. But if questioned be honest.
Because you don't want his advances and you have tried to prevent them. I would explain to her that you feel uncomfortable around him, and maybe a bit of why.
True friendship goes as far as you are truthful.
If this was happening to me. I would cut contact with him, and explain to her that I was sorry. But I can't be around him anymore. If they press the issue (and they will) I would explain myself and apologize for any hard feelings that it causes and hope that it does not come between our friendship. You put yourself in harms way when you are near him. I would stop being around him alone.
Now I have said a lot here. And some of it is useful advise some isn't. You need to do what works for you, and what is good for you. I hate to say this hun, but if she is your friend she will understand and respect what you have to say. If there is a way you can cut contact with him, and not ruin your friendship with her I would go that route, but if not...ya gotta say something.