Size and body image (mature subject matter)

[Rachael]

I didn't put NSFW because there's no images or videos or anything.

Anyway, I want to know everyone's opinion on size of body parts.  First off, there's the most obvious one...

Penis.  It seems that every man wishes he had a bigger penis.  It seems there is nothing we women can say to change this.  Whether it's bigger or smaller than average, who cares?  I've heard that while a few porn stars have naturally large penises, most either have them pumped to an unnatural size, or they have extensions.  I know this must be true, because I've seen some pictures where it's literally as long as the guy's entire forearm.

I'm not really concerned about whether the man I have sex with has a small penis.  Many women can't orgasm through vaginal penetration alone, anyway, even if the man has a large penis.  I've also heard that the most sensitive area of the vagina is the first two inches, so if a man can reach that, he's good.  I am actually a little worried that my partner might have a large penis.  A larger penis has a danger of hitting the cervix, which is not a pleasant experience for most women.

From what I've read about women's sexual fantasies, they often fantasize about large penises.  This may be true, but keep in mind that fantasies are exaggerated.  Women also fantasize about rape, having sex with animals, and having sex in public.  Most women who fantasize about these things do not actually want to do them.  So that foot-long, three-inch-wide penis that invades Jenny while she's performing Swan Lake during a monsoon in India is not something she seriously expects her man to have--and if she were encountered with one, she would probably walk very rapidly in the other direction.

Breasts.  Strangely, more women are worried that their breasts are too big than too small.  Men, it seems, prefer normal to smaller-sized breasts.  Although in porn and hentai (oh God, hentai breasts...they can get to be the size of watermelons.) the breasts are large, again--exaggeration.

That's not to say that large breasts don't get love, too--a lot of men love larger breasts.  Same with medium sized breasts.

I like mine--if they were any bigger, they'd look awkward and unbalanced, and if they were smaller, it would call attention to my waist.  But as they are, I think they give me a nice waist-to-hip ratio and a decent figure.

A word about nipples--I think a lot of women are concerned about the color, size, and shape of their nipples.  I don't have a lot of experience in nipple research, but I will say that I think a woman's chances of being rejected on account of her nipples are slim to none.

[Zev The Dog]

whats more important than 'size' or 'girth' is one's comfort and self-esteem. A large penis isn't god's proof of a good time, nor do large breasts and pencil thin waist make you a sex goddess. All too often people gloat and pride themselves on their physicality, and less on what they can do to please their significant other (at the moment...) Sex can be a take-take situation, but its more enjoyable when you can accept limitations, and find alternatives to make it more enjoyable.

When you're comfortable with what you've got, you're sexier than J.LO, Pretty Boy Floyd(George) and Marilyn Manson (I had to throw him in here, didnt want to upset the nonconventionals.)

[Rachael]

Clitoris.  Some women have larger clitorises than others.  This can lead to embarrassment once the woman becomes sexually active.  I've heard of cases where women are either cruelly teased because of their large clitorises or the men they're with are intimidated or disgusted by it.  They may even ask if she's really a woman, or if she's a hermaphrodite.

I'm personally intrigued by this.  I don't really see the problem if her clitoris is bigger than the average woman's.  There is no "model" or "perfect" vulva--every one is unique.  If she's comfortable with it, then that's all that matters.

Inner labia.  Apparently, this is the area where women feel the highest amount of negativity towards their genitals.  Just as the media has touted the 36-24-36 model as having the "ideal" body, women are pressured to have inner labia that are small, symmetrical, and unnoticeable.  I think inner labia are rather pretty, and it saddens me that women often turn to plastic surgery in order to have them "corrected."

Plastic surgeons refer to any sort of uniqueness concerning the female genitalia as "unsightly" or "embarrassing" in order to pressure women into getting procedures done to make their genitals conform to the standard set by the media.

There's more information about this at this website (link NSFW).  Honestly, if it weren't for this website, I'd still be ignorant about a lot of things.

[Taylor-MadeAK]

Here's an interesting tidbit: proportionally speaking, human beings have the largest sexual organs in the animal kingdom.  Even so, those porn stars with ten-inch (and larger!) penises are either mutants or "surgically enhanced."

In my experience, a lot of the penis size thing is just good-natured boasting among guy friends.  I think very few mature men are really insecure about the size of their equipment.  Teenage boys are more insecure, but teenagers of both genders are pretty insecure about EVERYTHING.  I certainly can't speak for all men, and I may just be unique in my opinions, but I'm pretty secure with who I am and what I look like.  The way I figure it: my wife is happy with my performance in bed, so either I'm "big enough" or just plain know what I'm doin'.

Speaking of my wife, she's not one of those women who can't get off on "vaginal penetration alone."  You're right about some women not being able to, but those who genuinely are incapable of doing so are a very small minority of women.  The rest of the women who have never experienced an orgasm from penetration are with the wrong men.  Seriously.  A lot of men treat sex as a one-way transaction: they're there to get off and they don't give a damn whether or not their partner does.  Personally, I always make sure my wife does because I want her to have a reason to keep putting out.

Now, when it comes to breast size...men do like to look at breasts, and larger breasts draw the eye more than small ones do.  Because our media does the things it does, women are brainwashed from early childhood to think that larger breasts are more desirable by men, so breast size insecurity is a big deal.  This is why breast implant surgery is quickly becoming more and more common.  Here's the thing, though: we men can spot fake tits from fifty paces away.  No sh**.  Speaking as the testosterone-saturated Neandertal that I am, I'd much rather look at a pair of entirely-natural B-cup size breasts than a fake pair of double-Ds. 

And no, we don't really give a damn what your nipples look like.  All nipples look different, even your right looks different from your left, and we men love them all.

Clitoris?  *shrug*  As long as you have one and it works the way it's supposed to, who cares how big it is?  To that end, I don't really like the idea of doctors surgically "correcting" something like that on infant girls.  Seems to me like that would possibly result in a woman who can't climax through normal intercourse....

Inner labia is another thing entirely.  They differ from woman to woman, and whether or not they're "ugly" is very much a subjective observation.  Speaking again as the big hairy Neandertal that I am, I find nudie pictures of women who have labia all hanging out like some kind of clam to be slightly gross...but not to the point where they won't arouse me.  When it comes down to it, I find the female body as a whole to be an incredibly beautiful creation - as long as the body in question isn't grotesquely obese.

Just my two cents.  *shrug*

[lazydullard]

women always prefer larger penis. i'm sure most will women will love you with a small penis, but both parties know she'd love you -more- if you had a larger penis. some women expect orgasm through penetration, and there's size requirements on that, no matter how hard you work it.

I dare any woman to say that a large penis doesn't feel better than a small one. I'm not talking elephant, but big. If your penis would give your woman better pleasure if it was larger, then it's a liability for a man. What if another man with a better penis comes along? Then he has you defeated by default in one area already.

based on informal conversation i've had, most men think big inner-labia are gross. typically rumors will be spread about what kind of odd sex practices the woman has been in to have caused such 'stretched out' lips. they are definitely disapearing from the porn world. used to be maybe 50% of pussy you could see for free would have exaggerated labia. But now it's only smooth little slits. if I grew up with today's porn, I think I would shocked by large labia too.

a great deal of young men are intimmidated or disgusted by clits to begin with. maybe some old men too? generally, once they have some actual sex with adult bodies, large clits are just unusual.

plastic surgeon's cut people up for a living. it's obvious what opinion they're going to have about someone purchasing their surgery. it's not evil or unethical, it's business.

Uh, my final word... I'm pretty sure most men prefer big boobs. It's just that we're always dating small boobs, so it wouldn't benefit us to be truthful, would it? Also, admitting you like big boobs is considered 'shallow' or 'immature.' Breast implants are considered slutty, so by saying you like big boobs, you saying you're shallow, immature, and can only score with slutty girls.

the image game is frickin' complicated. that's why I always opt for brutal or shocking honesty. but still, even that is part of the game.

[Taylor-MadeAK]

Hey ld?  You're shallow and immature. 

[Rachael]

Speaking of my wife, she's not one of those women who can't get off on "vaginal penetration alone."  You're right about some women not being able to, but those who genuinely are incapable of doing so are a very small minority of women.  The rest of the women who have never experienced an orgasm from penetration are with the wrong men.

Then your wife is one of the lucky ones.  Most women need either direct or indirect clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm.  Indirect stimulation can be achieved from the male pubic bone pushing against the clitoral area, or from certain positions where the penis hits an area in the vagina right under the clitoris (or something like that).  But for some women indirect stimulation isn't enough, and they need to have their clitoris directly stimulated.  What I meant by "vaginal penetration alone" was "without any sort of stimulation of the clitoris, direct or indirect.  The clitoris, not the vagina, is where it's at for most women.

women always prefer larger penis. i'm sure most will women will love you with a small penis, but both parties know she'd love you -more- if you had a larger penis. some women expect orgasm through penetration, and there's size requirements on that, no matter how hard you work it.

I dare any woman to say that a large penis doesn't feel better than a small one. I'm not talking elephant, but big. If your penis would give your woman better pleasure if it was larger, then it's a liability for a man. What if another man with a better penis comes along? Then he has you defeated by default in one area already.

Um, no.  Seriously?  From what I hear, big penises HURT.  Most women would prefer a normal-sized penis--not too big, not too small.  I'll be frank--I haven't experienced one yet.  But let me put it this way: I'm more scared of having sex with a man who has a 10-inch penis than a 4-inch one.

Your post also sounds as if you're saying that a penis is the only thing that can be used to pleasure a woman.  If that's what you think then you are dead WRONG.  There are many other things that can be used--fingers, tongues, toys.  Many, many women prefer oral sex to penetration.

A final word of warning: Be careful words like "always" and "never."  All it would take is for ONE woman to say she prefers smaller penises, and you would be proven wrong.

[Rachael]

based on informal conversation i've had, most men think big inner-labia are gross. typically rumors will be spread about what kind of odd sex practices the woman has been in to have caused such 'stretched out' lips. they are definitely disapearing from the porn world. used to be maybe 50% of pussy you could see for free would have exaggerated labia. But now it's only smooth little slits. if I grew up with today's porn, I think I would shocked by large labia too.

I'm sure you know this, but those guys need to understand that large inner labia typically aren't produced by "odd sex practices."  It's a matter of genetics.  They are rather elastic and can elongate if you pull on them a LOT or attach weights to them, but longer labia have nothing to do with how "loose" she is, or what type of sex she's into, or anything like that.  People who spread rumors like that are ignorant.

Yeah, it's kind of sad how porn is making women feel that even natural parts of their bodies are unattractive.  I feel for guys who think that their penises have to be circumcised in order to be attractive, too.  I think they look fine either way, honestly.  Half the time I can't even tell the difference.  But unlike armpit or leg hair, inner labia have nerves and produce pleasurable sensations, and removing or altering them seems rather...unwise.

[Taylor-MadeAK]

Most women need either direct or indirect clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm.

You didn't qualify it like that at first.  Of course it's "indirect clitoral stimulation" that does it.   But, when you think about it, just about anything you do down there stimulates the clitoris to some degree or another.  Even if it's a dildo with nothing pressing against the clit, it still moves against the labia, and the labia move against the clitoral hood...you see where this is going.  Saying "penetration alone" comes across as "without direct clitoral stimulation" to me.

But then, I'm by no means the most sexually experienced man in the world.  All women are different, and I've only had the pleasure of sharing my bed with only four women in my life, and the last 14 years have been with just one woman.

[lazydullard]

10 inches is reaching the elephant category. by big i meant 7 or 8. But i guess that's not big to most people, that's regular?

I'm actually kind of the opposite of what you say. My penis is prolly the only part of me that has never gotten a girl off. I'm quite adept at oral and massage. But yeah, I could never get my ex off with just plain old fucking -- but I knew she has had that experience before, and has graciously told me that she has had that experience since breaking up. Anyways, for other men in the same boat, it's forever a weakness. Like being born stupid or weak. You can "make it up" in other areas, but that's all you can do. "make it up." Even if she greatly prefers oral, you're still lacking. Even if it never comes up and you both exclusively perform oral on each other, you and her both know that you -can't- perform to the standard penetration wise.

A guy's penis isn't super important, but it's still definitely a part of who he is. A small penis isn't equivalent to say... bad teeth or large labia. You just don't look bad, you are -less- than other men in what you're capable of sexually.

But the last point was a good catch. Undoubtely there are women who prefer small penis. I might argue that they prolly don't enjoy sex and so they don't want to feel it the next morning, but that's a valid as any reason for picking penis.

uh.. two replies have been posted while i was typing this. so i didn't read the last two replies before posting this, if it changes anything : /

[lazydullard]

uh, just so everyone knows, I think large labia are plenty hot. and yes, big boobs rock as well. natural scores a little higher than synthetic. but boob implants are just like bleaching your teeth or body building or tattoos, so I don't consider them any more 'unnatural' than any other body sculpting/art.

[Rachael]

You didn't qualify it like that at first.  Of course it's "indirect clitoral stimulation" that does it.   But, when you think about it, just about anything you do down there stimulates the clitoris to some degree or another.  Even if it's a dildo with nothing pressing against the clit, it still moves against the labia, and the labia move against the clitoral hood...you see where this is going.  Saying "penetration alone" comes across as "without direct clitoral stimulation" to me.

Oh yeah, my bad.  And forgive me if I sounded cynical about penetration.  I guess I was making assumptions because I've really heard too many comments from both men and women who downplay things like oral sex and clitoral stimulation, or worse, act like there's something inherently "wrong" with a woman who needs clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm.

Take Freud, for example--he believed that the clitoral orgasm was "immature" and the vaginal orgasm was "mature."

uh, just so everyone knows, I think large labia are plenty hot. and yes, big boobs rock as well. natural scores a little higher than synthetic. but boob implants are just like bleaching your teeth or body building or tattoos, so I don't consider them any more 'unnatural' than any other body sculpting/art.

Hey, that's awesome. And we all have our preferences.  I think most women would agree that there's something to be said aesthetically about a larger penis.  A large, erect penis suggests health, virility, manliness, and all that good stuff that most women like in their men.  I guess what bothered me about your post is the way you said "always."

And of course, it really depends on the woman's experience.  If she's previously been with someone who had a small penis and performed poorly, and then slept with someone who had a larger penis and knew what he was doing, she's probably going to think that bigger is better.  On the other hand, if she's been with several men whose big penises stretched her too quickly and slammed into her cervix, she may sigh with relief when she sees her current lover has a small one.

[Badinage]

Its really tough to talk openly about preferences in body types because noone wants to appear shallow. Yet its almost impossible to not seem that way when you're talking about what turns you on in the opposite sex.

I guess I'll forge ahead and try. Despite what Lazy Dullard says, I do honestly prefer women with smaller then average breasts. This comes down to the general sense of what attracts my eye to a sexually desirable body. I like women who's bodies appear efficient, capable of action. Women with really large breasts appear awkward and ungainly, indeed I have read and heard testimonials from heavily endowed females who say that having large breasts is tough, making sports and exercise difficult.

Taking a step back from bodies alone, the kinds of females who catch my eye are ones who look like their ready for an adventure. Bodies are generally somewhat athletic, but more importantly, they dress and carry themselves as people who are ready for anything . Fancy dresses dont impress me. High heels are a huge turnoff, they tell me that the girl thinks her appearance and fashion are more important then her comfort. I have trouble imagining myself doing much that I think is fun with a girl wearing high heels.



As for my own body self image, I don't really have much to comment. Men seem to be trained from birth to see bigger penises as better, as making you more of a man. Its pretty much a moot point for me, no female has seen mine in my adult life and so I have no clue how mine stacks up against the competition. Men don't size each other up in the shower room, I've never particularly cared. I know alll the penis bragging I've heard came from gay friends, maybe this is more important in a homosexual relationship....? Cant really say.

[Taylor-MadeAK]

I know alll the penis bragging I've heard came from gay friends, maybe this is more important in a homosexual relationship....? Cant really say.

Nah.  Like I said before: all the penis bragging you hear is just good-natured boasting.  Oni and I do that quite a lot for the same reason that we'll mock each other's sexuality - it's all in fun.  Most men who are confident in themselves (and their sexuality) don't feel all that insecure about their penis size, despite what your spam e-mail inbox wants you to believe.

[Oni]

Let me start with the Penis....

Size is not all it's cracked up to be. And any gay guy that brags about there ability to take a HUGE penis with ease, or only like large guys is trying to cover up for the fact that they are really LOOSE. Think about it. They like large guys cause they want to at least feel something. LOL. Comming froma guy who has a large penis, let me  point out that it SUCKS. Most of the time you can't use ALL of it, And when you do try they scream out and threaten to kill you. So one has to learn HOW to use it. Now don't get me wrong large penis's are fun to look at and play with from time to time, but NOT sit on. I just prefer them to be more ... well normal size.

Though I think it is funny in high school I was always embaressed thinking I had a small penis, it wasn't till my ex pointed out ot me that I was very wrong.

Though talking about penis's I can't help but think of a comment that TM's wife said to him. hehe.

TM is right though. It's just good natured bragging. Truth be told I think mine is a bit TOOO big. But hay it's some thing I can give my friends a hard time about....(excuse the pun).

Now when it comes to boobies.....Oh they make great pillows. but I prefer mine to be smaller to medium. Huge one's were just never all that apealing to me, aside from the beanbag idea of them.... Funny cause I was with some one who had bigger tits that TM.

Now the Labia and the Clit...I AM THE CLIT COMMANDER. ... ok moving on. I prever them to be small. But that's  just from looking at them from a beauty artistic value.

I would think even gay men have an opinion of what they find apealing in the female body, even if they don't find it arousing they can still find it attractive, it's like any other form of art.

One of the best pics I have seen is that of a pregnant naked woman.

I think men are insecure about there penis size for the same reason women are worried about there Boob size.