Beer & Barley Wine Festival

[Kritter]

Why, because I always expect a call that goes, "How much do you love me? ... I wrecked your car."

are you suspicious after the question part when he says that by now?

I would be too if some one had called me up that exact same way and my car was dead.

LMFAO, I've known Oni & Ben for over three years and out of those years, I've only heard "I love you"  3 times (only from Oni though). The 1st time was when he had a car accident in which totaled my car. The 2nd time was when he was high on prescribed drugs, and the 3rd time was when I got fed up living with him and demanded to leave.
So you see, when he does it, it is usually something for me to worry about. I'm still waiting for the day when Ben says "I love you." Though honestly, I think him saying that to me will NEVER happen. ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!

[Taylor-MadeAK]

You know, Kritter, all jesting set aside for a moment, this is truly a sad commentary on our dear friend Oni.  When you describe it like that, it sounds like the only time he utters those "three little words" is when he is either trying to manipulate his way out of trouble or too stoned to be cognizant of what he's saying.  Of course, the fact that this fits my 12+ years of experience with him as well doesn't help his case any. 

There may be a lesson here, Oni: how often do you tell the important people in your life that you love them?  Your mom, dad, Fox, Esther...your son....  Of those times, how often have you use those words and the sentiment they embody to manipulate those people (be honest about this part, if only with yourself)?  This is one of the lessons I tried to teach you long before you ever found yourself in a situation where it would really matter that people know how you feel, but alas it was also one of those lessons which you never seemed to get.

[Goman Fox]

Actually, that "first time" isn't correct anyways.  His exact words were "how much do you love me?" because we had just gotten into a car accident (not his fault) and her car was wrecked.  It was more of a transitional statement into "I'm sorry, your car is dead" than anything else.

I'd like to think that Esther knows that we care about her, whether we say it specifically or not, but then again, she does think a lot differently than we do, so she may not catch what we believe to be direct hints.  Although I also think that if she didn't know that, she probably wouldn't stick around either.

It's true that Oni hasn't used those "three words" with Esther at all, but he does try to let her know in other ways.  I think the big one is the fact that when he talks about "our family" (as in within the household) it's not just him, me and D'mitri, it includes Esther as well.  I think being included in someone's definition of family, especially when there are no blood relations, or marriages or anything like that, says a lot about how much that person cares.  It also probably doesn't help that some of the ways he expresses himself is doing things for a person that they'd never notice without being told about it.

That and the way they bicker sometimes, you'd swear they were either married or siblings.  I swear there are even times when both of them will go out of their way to bitch at each other over stupid things.

Of course, I'm looking at this from the perspective of someone that just sucks at expressing themselves in person.  People that don't actually get to know me tend to see me as some cold, heartless bastard, and even though I can be a selfish ass sometimes, I'd like to think their perceptions of me are mostly wrong.

I'm guessing the whole problem with this issue is that Esther looks more toward the surface for some things, while we express ourselves in less obvious ways.  She wants to hear "those words" when we're more likely to show it.

[Kritter]

Oh snap, my previous post was NOT an attack on how Oni treats me wrong or how TM seem to word it (to my interpretation) as "manipulating" me. I seriously doubt that! Ben's explanation sheds the truth. I'm one of those folks who needs to hear those "three words". I was just brought up to hear it from folks that love me and I say it to those I love very dearly-- Ben, Oni, & D included. They aren't a course my blood family and that took me sometime to getting use to because I was brought up that only blood family loves you. In fact, even to this day I occasionally have to keep reminding myself that friends can be "family" as well.

Yes, Oni and Ben do express their love to me in a more silent way- I just don't take the time to actually see it. XP

The biggest example I can think of was when I was breaking up with my ex. I don't want to go in very much detail, but I feel I should for everyone to understand. You see, during my attempt to break up with my ex, she was going off at me on how she'll commit suicide and that it will be entirely my fault. To her, I was cold and heartless.  I couldn't take in the fact that she wanted to commit suicide so I left and went to Oni. I told him what happened and with hesitation he stood up, embraced me, and said, "Go to my room and stay there. I'll take it from here." He ended what I could not and within couple hours, she was gone (she didn't commit suicide). He made sure if I was alright because at the time, I was heartbroken. He and Ben made sure if I was alright and help supported my ordeal. That chapter of my life wasn't pleasant but you know what, Oni and Ben were there by my side very step of the way.

When I read the comment on if Oni even loves his own child was a shocker to me. I mean If he doesn't love his kid then why would he even bother fighting to gain full custody? If he didn't give a sh**, then everything he has done would never happen. Does he say those three words to D, hell yes he does. He says it every time he sees him during  the morning, when they're playing together, watching a movie together, and before D goes to sleep.

He also does express his love to his parents too. If he didn't then he wouldn't spend his time aiding them every time they ask for his help.

I hope I express my thoughts clearly. Please don't feel as if this post is an attack because I'm not. I just feel that I needed to share that Oni is NOT this manipulator, cold hearted, and evil person that everyone likes to portray him as.

[Taylor-MadeAK]

Well, there you have it: from the fingertips of people who see more clearly than I do.  Questions retracted.

[Oni]

*purrrs*

[Goman Fox]

*purrrs*

Oh great, sounds like he found the catnip again.

...Either that or he replaced his batteries...