Are emotions a sufficient basis for marriage?

[Taylor-MadeAK]

I can only speak from my own experience, and what I've seen is that marriages formed for reasons other than (even in addition to, in some cases) love tend to fall apart and end up in bitter divorce.  There seems to be an upper limit to what people will put up with from each other "for sake of the kids" or whatever, but there seems to be no end to what people will tolerate for love.  Of course, a relationship formed around love is naturally self-limiting as to what those two people will do to each other, and that has to do with the very nature of love itself.

To continue in that vein, we need to define that word: "love."

Care to fess one up?

[lazydullard]

Marriage is only and exclusively between the two (or, perhaps in the future, X amount of) parties. They decide the criteria and requirements for reciting those oaths. If the two parties agree that the feelings of attachment, comfort, companionship (essentially Love, but I was trying to be more specific about the many elements involved in Love) are enough to warrant a wedding, then yes. The only people who can truly evaluate the worth of their relationship would be those in the relationship.

This also extends to mean that should either party quit loving each other, then their requirements for marriage are broken -- thus, not only is divorce going to follow.. dirvorce SHOULD follow. Basically, it's all about what the private parties themselves desire from each other. Essentially, ANY reason is acceptable to use as a basis for marriage, as well, ANY reason is acceptable for use as divorce. Your life and actions are your life and actions, so just make sure you don't regret them.

The traditional "wedding vows" that everyone repeats after the preacher should only be used as guidelines. The wedding vows should include everything that the couple discussed earlier. The traditional wedding vows are either very common ideas that most people value and look for in a marriage, or those vows are derived from what the bible teaches about marriage. In either case, those promises and agreements are only relevant to your marriage if you want it to be. And if you think the bible is spot on about marriage, then it is.

I would never vow to love or protect someone 'forever.' There's simply no way I can guarantee that I'll always care for and value the other party. I don't plan on ever getting married -- I just don't have the desire to form that sort of relationship with someone else (it doesn't offer me anything I want).

Here's the one situation where I almost got married: for a little while, I had convinced myself to join the military. I realized that there was a risk of death, but also, I realized that soliders get (or can get) some pretty hefty life insurance. So, I picked the person who I thought would most benefit from this money. My ex-GF. I checked to see if she would want to get married before I enlisted so she would qualify for the benefits. Of course, her desires and requirements for marriage are dramatically different from my own, so she declined. Good thing too, since I actually ended up not enlisting.

[lazydullard]

Also, I thought the essay that the OP shared with us was cute. It reminded me of how I used to write essays in middle school. That piece of writing would get torn up in any setting more advanced than that, though, as many other people (like goman fox) illustrated.

[Amanda - Angel]

Goman Fox, you are my hero. Just wanted to say that.. but my views on the whole marriage thing is this. Marriage to me is a partnership. Two people who have made a team and are working together through lifes challenges. Its the whole saying "United, We're one with eachother". Granted like seen in history most couples didnt have real feelings for eachother, yet I am sure they grew them. Both sides where fighting for a cause, and that same cause I am sure brought them close. Made them a team. You do it because that's  your partner, that's  your friend and that's  your companion. Yes theres some feelings involved.