Pearls of Wisdom

[Oni]

Pearls of Wisdom
"Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over
50 Years To Learn" by Dave Barry

   1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

   2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

   3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

   4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

   5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

   6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

   7. Never lick a steak knife.

   8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

   9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

  10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

  11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

  12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

  13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

  14. Your friends love you anyway.

Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

[Goman Fox]

   1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

But if you don't like someone, slip one of each into their food.

   3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

For furries though, the line isn't there.  Most likely it ran away long ago, so the two terms kinda merge together...

   4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

There's the great thing for me about being an athiest, I don't really have religious views, so I like listening to other people share theirs.  Well, as long as they'll listen to and respect my ideas and reasons for being an athiest.  They don't have to believe in what I say, just don't try to convert me.

   6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Singing on the other hand... *covers his ears*

   9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

It makes sense in Alaska though, especially in Fairbanks and probably farther north.  When you get down to just a few hours of daylight in the winter months, it's nicer to have the sun coming up "earlier" in the day.  Even if it's kinda sad for it to be dark at 4:30pm, it's still better than having the sun rise at like, noon.

  12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

Not really true.  I don't drive and don't believe I'd even be an average driver.

  13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

Makes me think of a certain cat...  "Your Bloody Mary sucks."

[Oni]

  13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
Makes me think of a certain cat...  "Your Bloody Mary sucks."

What...I just like my drinks the way i want to drink them. Espicially if I am paying 5 plus dollars for it.

[Rachael]

http://www.snopes.com/humor/lists/16things.asp

Not all of it was written by Dave Barry.  The "bonus" tip at the bottom made me want to gag.

[Oni]

as much as i apreachate the work Snopes does, they help to kill some of the fun of the internet. LOL. sorry that was my little rant there cause that site has been thrown around alot here at work. LOL. because of emails ect. ... *sigh*

For me going there is like trying to explain the Aristrocrat joke...it just doesn't work if you dont get it.

[Rachael]

Okay, I'll stop throwing Snopes around if you stop telling the Aristocrats joke in front of me. :p

[Oni]

I dont often tell it anymore. To many people have heard it already.

[Rachael]

Haha!  Well, I'll try to let up on the Snopes anyway.

[Oni]

okyday...oh oh oh oh SHINY *runs off in hunt of the shiny*

[ViewSonic]

*steals the shiny and eats it before the cat can get to it*

[Oni]

Puppy he ate my shiny get it back