Gender

[Rosa D.]

I'm having a really hard time telling people that I feel as if I am not female. It was hard enough to say anything about it online, but I almost couldn't tell Luke. I fell bad for Luke because as far as he knows he married a woman. It's not that I feel like a man, I don't feel as if I belong to either gender. I am androgynous. I guess what I am trying to say is how do I tell people? I guess the main problem is that people do not understand, but I can't expect them to.

[Oni]

Meow,
I am not ingoring your question hun just taking some time to form a response. lol. You question has a lot of thought that goes into it.

[Rev. Johnathan Jones]

Rosa,

there are lots of people who feel as you do. I beleieve it is totally natural. Maybe you should try talking to a transgendered person. Or someone who feels androgynos- maybe even a therapist??? If you email me I can give you some names of people who may be able to help. pastor@mccanchorage.com

[Oni]

Meow,
Not to disagree with Johnathan here. But I dont think you need a shrink to help you through this. Do you feel a need to tell people?
Might I make a suggestion. Try a nice long post about how you feel. Even if you just ramble on and jump topic's alot. Try and get as much out as you can.
Really hun I think you are just fine the way you are. Does it effect your love for Luke if you told him vs. if you didn't.
Do you feel you belong somewere, or just dont feel you belong to a sex?
If it is just sex hun then i wouldnt think that's  anything to worry about. ... but then again i bet not all of what i am trying nto say is coming out just right in text.

Cursed Johnathan and this song....

"I am what I am. I am my own special creation. So give me the hook or give me an ovation."

[Goman Fox]

I'm definitely no expert or anything, but from what I've seen, quite a few people don't understand the difference between "gender" and "biological sex."  Since they are often matched males with the "male gender," and females with the "female gender" they probably don't understand that there are cases where gender and biological sex don't agree, or for your case, when neither biological sex matches your gender.

I think your first step in explaining it to people might be to make sure they understand that difference.  After that... I'm really not sure, but I think explaining that difference might help others understand a bit easier.

[Rachael]

I used to say "gender" because I was too embarrassed to say "sex"...

[Rosa D.]

Even if I explain to everyone the difference between gender identity and biological sex they still do not understand why. They believe me when I say that I don't feel like a woman or a man, but then I get questioned as to why. "Why does it matter if you feel male or female?" That's what I was recently asked. I can't explain why I feel this way. I've felt uncomfortable and when I think of having to worry about acting, dressing and just being a woman. But, I know that I would be equally miserable if I were a man. It's just the way I am, but to the people that I have opened up to they don't understand.

[Oni]

What you just said makes perfect sense to me.

It's cat logic...So therefor I understand.