Friends with Benifits

[Oni]

How do you all feel about friends with "benifits" both in a relationship and out?

[Oni]

Friends that you...well at times ... bugger... Friends that it is ok to have physical relationships with, and it be simply just between friends.

[yukonron]

while I was single, I was fortuate enough to have several rewarding physical encounters with friends. We might have at first viewed it as curiosity and exploration; subsequent events were simply either an expression of our trusted friendship or just getting-off for fun. Depends on how the person chooses to look at it.
if a person is in a committed relationship, having friends-with-benefits can become more complicated (see the thread on What is Cheating?). Even if partners agree to share their bodies with friends outside the relationship, jealousies tend to develop. I believe in recreational sex, but commitment to another person emotionally & romantically requires a firm idea of what's permissable. How many times with the same friend are too many? Or is enough never enough? How much jealousy can a relationship handle?

[Kritter]

*grins* FWB topic. Hmmm, well, that is something I can voice my opinion because I have done that. Personally, I like the whole idea. For me, a FWB must have some requirements before the whole FWB starts.  I have only done it with one other person.

When it comes to FWB to me both parties must have some form of an agreement of understanding that they will only be friends. Why, because it won’t be good if one starts to develop feelings and wanting something more than friendship while the other doesn’t.

There is a problem I see with FWB and is jealousy. Course that emotion is everywhere in any type of relationship. But it is something that must be taken care of; if for example one of the parties has more than one FWB.

FWB is not for everyone a course. There are folks who are old fashion and/or closed minded to accept FWB.

When it comes to a couple having basically a 3rd wheel then that is something I really can’t voice my opinion since I never experienced that.

Sorry if this seems very spaced out. I like the whole FWB issue so after more folks voice their opinion/thoughts, I might say more. If there’s any questions anyone who wants to ask me, go for it. I am quite open about these things and not scared to say it online.

[Goman Fox]

There is a problem I see with FWB and is jealousy. Course that emotion is everywhere in any type of relationship. But it is something that must be taken care of; if for example one of the parties has more than one FWB.

Before commenting on the topic, I wanted to point something out here.  Jealousy is not "everywhere" in every relationship.  In some, there is no jealousy at all.  Honestly, with me, it's hard for me to get jealous, as long as I'm not being neglected.  If Oni wanted to go off with a friend, and I trusted him and the friend, I wouldn't really get jealous, unless he was wanting to play with someone else and not me.  And I know of people who claim they never get jealous at all (and seems to be true too.)  So be careful when you generalize a large group.

Anyways, my opinions on friends with benefits...  Well, I would be a hypocrite if I said I disapproved.  My first real sexual experiences started with one of those types of relationships.  Playing around with a friend, where we both knew nothing more than friends would come out of it.  I think for single people, as long as they're careful, there's nothing unhealthy about having friends with benefits.  Besides, it's healthy to get some sort of release once in a while.

As for relationships, it really depends on the couple.  Some couples are all for it and don't care if their partners go off with someone else once in a while for some fun.  While on the other side, there are couples who would never be able to do that in a million years.  But most people, I feel, fall somewhere between those two extremes.  From couples who will let their partners play under certain circumstances, to ones who will only play with other people rarely, and only together, to people who make a routine out of having sex together with other people (or other couples).  Whether it's "right" or "wrong" really depends on the person.  Personally, I think as long as it's done safely and all parties are aware that it's only fun, nothing more, there's really no problem with it.

[Kritter]

I can understand what you are saying; however, how I see it, jealousy is in everyone. It could be strong for one person yet weak for another. Everyone deals with jealousy one way or another. In this case a relationship. It's just how each person deals with it.

[Goman Fox]

I still disagree with you though.  You say that all relationships have jealousy and people deal with it in different ways.  I'm saying it's possible that there are people without jealousy (I'm pretty close to that).  It's not that they "deal with it" by not letting it get to them, it's that they actually don't get those feelings.

Of course, I'll always disagree when someone uses the term "everyone."  There are very few occasions when you can include -everyone- in a group and have what you say be true.  You just really can't use all-inclusive words like that when making a statement about people in general.  They even teach that in most English classes.  You should never include everyone in a group when making a statement because there will usually be an exception to that.

[Kritter]

Well obviously there's something we view differently . I truely do respect and appreciate your view on the matter. Love yeah bro 

Chao! 

[yukonron]

I wouldn't say that ALL relationships feature some jealousy, but NEARLY all do. I believe jealousy stems from some insecurity that an aspect of the relationship (or the relationship itself) is threatened by an outside force. It's a very rare thing that there is no feeling of threat when a third person enters the sexual and/or emotional realm of a relationship. Either the guy is unusually confident that nothing will compromise the integrity of their relationship, or the relationship isn't valued to the extent that its demise would matter much...
 

[Oni]

What procossions should one take when having a friend with binifits?

[London_Fox]

hmmm  friends with benefits, how will that effect my tax returns?  I mean, the insurance over laps must be a pain.  =P

When I was a single dude, it was something for sure, but now that I've been with my mate for some time now, I guess no one else really has the benefits.  My mate doesn't get out much so the biggest benefit I get from others is going out and about.  Though I'm sure that isn't what one would consider.  myeah, long as I have the Pumz, its all good ^_^

[Kritter]

Ok, I understand what you all are saying. But I guess I should state how I concluded that everyone have jealousy in a relationship. Throughout my life I had never witness a couple with out jealousy till I met Oni and Foxie. Everyone couple I knew, both parties had jealousy issue. Some are minor and others came to the point where I could have been harmed in the process. I witness the jealousy from everyone I knew and since that was the only exposure I had, I concluded every couple does the same. Now, here comes the turning point of this, yes, Foxie does NOT get jealous and I have actually NEVER seen him get jealous. So by that means, jealousy is not in every relationship (Foxie is the only person who have proven conterdicting). 


Obviously the PRECAUTION one should take when having a friend with benefits is SAFETY!!! Use condoms and if toys will be used, then keep them clean. Use your common sense even if someone is not doing FWB. Be safe to who ever you have sex with, unless it’s with your long lasting partner. 

[foxguardian]

well i have yet to be in a FWB relationship but i almost did with a good friend of who i have hardly met and i am totaly petrified [not sure how to spell that] of cetching something so hehe condoms are a must
and i wouldent get jelious if my girl/boy friend were to intro duce me to some one and we met personally and talked it over but if /heshe was like hey i wanna have a threesome with this guy or this girl and some random person was there id be like uh oh....

[Ekim]

I love FWB relationships. Its a great way to still chill with a girl without having to deal with all the relationship issues. It has been my experience that girls tend to get 'clingy' in relationships and to be honest, this bothers the hell out of me. I don't mind, in fact I like relationships, I just like my space and therefore FWB seems to work out better for me.
You have to choose your FWB with caution though. Women tend to put emotion into all there thought where as men tend to separate emotions from thought and think more logically. (Psyc studies have shown this!)
If you choose your FWB partner incorrectly, someone is gonna get hurt and it is usually the one who develops the feelings. Plus, they might just be a whore and sleeping with half the town so you really gotta know who your dealing with.
But I stand by my words and say that a FWB can be the best relationship out there.

[Kritter]

Women tend to put emotion into all there thought...
If you choose your FWB partner incorrectly, someone is gonna get hurt and it is usually the one who develops the feelings.

Lol, I agree what you said there. When I tried the whole FWB, that was the mistake I had made- developed feeling for the other person. I slowly began to hope/wish the possibility of becoming more than just friends. It didn’t end up that way a course. But now that I can look back at it, I glad it didn't. Yes, one could say I did got ‘hurt’, but it is something I learned about it.